Personal Responsibility and Self Reliance

I was awakened this morning with the realization that I am a dreamer. Many in the world aren't going to accept what I have just written. If anything, the present world promotes just the opposite. In today's world, it is considered irresponsible to be self-reliant. We are constantly taught and instructed to turn our lives over to someone or something, apart from ourselves, and when we are not being told to surrender our lives to some professional or institution, we are being told to take the latest round of life saving drugs.

So, what are we humans supposed to do if we can't trust anything or anybody, including ourselves? For sure, we don't want to do what my half-witted friend did: he said, "The hell with it," and got drunk.

Fortunately, Life is a lot more residual than we humans give her credit for. She has survived for a long time, and in the course of our development, she has endowed us with almost impenetrable means of self defense. Life has even taken into consideration that we humans may try to destroy ourselves.

Like most, in the beginning, I too, followed the path of least resistance: I went to a doctor for an examination. I believe it was close to nine years ago. At the time, my wife and I were living in the country on an acreage. We just loved it; for one thing, we had a magnificent garden from which we were able to raise most of our food. (Why in the world we moved to the city I have come to wonder.) At the time I was nearing 62, and as it were, I decided to take my Social Security early. Consequently, I went to a doctor for two reasons: one, to establish contact with a doctor who accepted Medicare patients, and two, because it was beginning to take more and more time for me to do the necessary things around the acreage without constantly running out of breath. Actually, I could see the writing on the wall. I was deteriorating at a noticeable rate.

To my dismay, the doctor, after a brief examination, discovered what I already suspected: I had a serious breathing problems. He advised me to stop smoking, then and there. For this, I give him credit—he knew what he was talking about. I should have stopped smoking then and there. But I didn't.

But the doctor was not without blame in this true life confession. I remember how quickly he rushed through my examination. It wasn't what he said, but what he didn't say, and what he did afterward that I later questioned. Without so much as to take a few minutes to discuss my problem, he reached into his magic box of drugs and prescriptions and wrote me out his formula. As it were, I was given a type of steroid drug, corticosteroid, which was to help dilate my bronchial tubes, decrease the swelling of the bronchial tube lining, and decrease lung inflammation. What he didn't tell me was that the continued use of steroids also had many "very serious" potential side effects. (1) They may make the user feel overly energetic and give one a false sense of well-being; (2) abnormal weight gain and redistribution of fat; (3) easy bruising, stomach irritation, and cataracts in the eyes. And, as further treatment, I was to begin using a type of bronchiodiolator. In my case, I was to use an aerosol metered dose inhaler (MDI) three times a day—or as needed.

Well, at the time, and after some deep soul searching, I rejected the steroids, and although I did have the doctor's prescription filled for the aerosol inhaler, I never did use it. Something told me not to. Maybe it was my Guardian Angel. (That was nearly nine years ago and I haven't used any drugs yet. Some day I may, but I haven't done so yet.)

Interesting how we humans rarely act before the need. We don't appear to have an abundance of foresight. I believe it was Albert Schweitzer who said "Man has lost the ability of foresight." What is that old saying? "Necessity is the mother of invention." And I remember writing years ago the phrase, "Within the need lies the answer." So, why did it take me until age 62 to fully realize that the "earth is round" and that there is no such thing as evading our responsibilities in the long run? Why did it take a simple doctor's examination to drive home to me that my days of evasion were over?

I woke up a few days after writing the above with the realization that I forgot to mention one important part of my smoking experience—the fact that I did quit smoking shortly after my initial visit to the doctor. Strange that I should fail to mention such an important fact considering the devastation smoking caused to my health. You would think that I would be proud to declare my triumph over tobacco use. And, I am. But, I must confess, I do consider smoking as the root cause for my past unhealthy ways. For me, and the vast majority, I believe that smoking was/is a symptom of something else, something far more encompassing. Under the same conditions had I not smoked, I would have found something else equally, if not more destructive to take its place. Still, I can't help but continue to ask myself why, and when I look around at all the pain and suffering smoking has caused the human race, I am inspired to search the depths of my being for understanding; and among the first thoughts to arise is the realization of how fragile a balance there is between life and the environment. But when I speak of the environment, I do not mean to confine the term to the physical world. Instead, the word "environment" is intended to mean the aggregate of all surrounding things, conditions or influences—both inner and outer—that exerts a force upon our state of being. Today, of all times, we humans should understand this.

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