My Eldest Brother

Unexpectedly this summer my remaining brothers and sister and I experienced the ordeal of trying to take care of our oldest brother, Frank. Frank is 20 years older than I, and lives in Nevada, all alone, without family or any family to care for him. His wife died years ago, and unfortunately for him, he had no children. I say "unfortunately" because when we become older, all the money in the world becomes worthless without someone to love, or without someone to love us. That is what happened to my oldest brother to a large degree, he ended up with money, but with no one to care for him other than his elderly siblings, which is not the same as having your own children, even if our hearts are in it. We tried to help our brother in his hour of need, but there were conditions and problems that were beyond our ability to either solve or control.

One day this past summer as I was peaceably going about my daily activities, I received a call from my sister telling me that our brother Frank had been taken to a hospital in Nevada because of his mental and physical condition. She went on to inform me that he had been found outside his home, the day before, by his neighbors, totally incoherent—shouting words not pleasant to the ears. Finally, after much effort by his neighbors and the local 911 service, my brother gave his consent to be taken to the local hospital for an examination. There, after an extensive physical and mental examination, it was determined by the hospital staff that my brother was not only physically impaired, but mentally impaired as well. Consequently, it was determined by the doctors, various departments of social services, and the legal system that a hearing be set before a judge in order to determine my brother's competency, and appoint a legal guardian if necessary.

Because of my own medical conditions I was unable to travel to Nevada, but I did spend a lot of time on the telephone. Fortunately, we had one brother who lived in California, within driving range of Frank, who could oversee the complicated process fo finding and appointing a legal guardian for Frank. Unfortunately, my brother Louis is 83 himself, and traveling back and forth to Nevada took its toll. And, to make matters worse, we were quick to find out that Nevada has a strange law that prohibits anyone from out of state from becoming a legal guardian within the state of Nevada. Consequently, no one within our immediate family could be Frank's legal guardian.

Things did work out, though, but with patience, concern and cooperation a care home was found for Frank, and according to the latest report he is doing quite well. By the way, I forgot to tell you that Frank, like me, Enos and Bud, has a chronic lung disease and is in need of supplemental oxygen. The last I heard, Frank was still smoking.

Feedback Page

CONVERSATIONS

My Earliest Days

Recollections of WWII

Music Touches Me for the First Time

The Grand Island Experience

Individual and Collective Error

Pain - Notes